“E” Is For Embarrassment
While putting away laundry this morning I found two pair of off-white Lane Bryant Daysheer panty hose still in their packaging. My eyes wandered to the top of the package and froze on the size…E! This was one of my last clothing purchases when I weighed 325.
Automatically I flipped it over and looked at what “Size E” meant. A sad little smile came to my face. Size E is for ladies who weigh 250-300 pounds. Clearly I was too Embarrassed to buy the next size up, Size F (F for fat?) with a range of 300-400 lbs.
Who Was That Girl?
Dot-To-Trot didn’t make that purchase nearly 3 years ago. A different person did. Sure, she had my name, face and fat body, but it wasn’t me. It was a person so embarrassed by their weight and afraid of failure (after many weight loss attempts) all she did was hope she’d get thinner and not take charge of her life. Dot-to-Trot was born when she finally accepted that the only person who could change her lot in life was herself.
Well, I’m 128 lbs. down and still considered obese (damn you BMI!). But I’m not embarrassed by my size. I’ve changed how I live and that’s given me the confidence to do something about my weight.
I like little finds like this. It’s always good to have reminders of how far I’ve come on my weight loss journey. That’s why I keep my fat jeans in my closet and my before picture out where I can see it every day. Whether I’m having a horrible or fantastic day, it’s good to reflect on my success. Finding unexpected tokens from my “past life” inspire me to reach my next goal.